Bored Blog 2: You Have to Stop and Ponder About Your Life

7/11/2021

Surprisingly I was pretty excited to write my next blog post today. Even though as of right now I have no readers ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I've never done this or followed any blogs, so I have no idea when to post. I feel like I should write them at the end of the day...after stuff happens. That way I have things to post for my (non existent) readers! And maybe reading a blog post in the evening/night could be relaxing for ya.

A friend of mine was happy I finally started this, but it turned out he got blog and vlog mixed up. When I said "It's the written one," he replied, "That's boring." lol

I would do a vlog, but I share a room with mah sis. She's not the type to be cool with me recording in our room and being noisy.

Let's get this show on the road!

I woke up.

I looked at my phone.

There were no messages. So I checked my email. I got something from Paypal saying $89 dollars was spent to Lift-Off Global Network (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾). I sat up wide awake in my bed. I'm a lady who carries around a water bottle so I don't have to pay for drinks throughout the day. So this was big news for me. Part of me was upset and another part of me was like, " I should have seen this coming."

Lift-Off Global Network is a website for fellow filmmakers to chat, post and Facebook blah. They also hold festivals that are posted on Filmfreeway. Last year I entered Koko Ni Inai (I'm Not Here) (a short film I wrote, directed, produced, edited and more blah) to a few of the Lift-Off film festivals. I got into 3 of them which was pretty cool. The first time I got in, they let me go through this one year free trial of Lift-Off Global Network. Which was better than nothing.

Anyway, I didn't use it much. It was everyone posting their films and hoping someone with money will work with them on another project. They do have zoom events I think? Which they post later on their Youtube channel. If you were or ever think of joining Lift-Off Global Network, the people are nice, but I didn't get much from it. It probably depends how active you are on there.

I canceled my account, which deletes all my posts and whatnot so people can forget about me ever existing.

After that, I felt like today I should get back into running. So I ran 3 miles, got home, showered, then I had to write a poem.

Let me explain. The short story is, I came up with the idea of writing poems that tell a story when you read all of them together. It's not just a story, I wanted it to inspire people who want to work for themselves. I would use the word "entrepreneur," but after asking some FB writing groups if they would read a book of poems about an entrepreneur and their story, there were people who clearly had no idea what "entrepreneur" meant. That and people who have never met an entrepreneur in their life. Their minds went to the image of that guy in Wolf of Wall Street. Someone who lies and steps on people to get to the top. If this is you I have to tell you, that's not it at all.

Writers who don't work with a publishing company are entrepreneurs. Independent filmmakers are entrepreneurs. People who are indie comic book writers or authors (or both) are entrepreneurs. Indie rappers are entrepreneurs, musicians, dancers, painters and other types of artists are entrepreneurs. Anyone who owns their own business. There are soooooooooo many types of entrepreneurs out there and people are only thinking of guys like Wolf of Wall Street.

There were a lot of negative comments on facebook. There was one writing group where there were actually nice people. Some said, "If the poems rhyme then yeah! I'll read it." I smiled and said to myself, "Of course!"

I was going to post it on my filmmaker website, but I decided to post it on a website that was free and has people who read/write. I found one called Wattpad. Before I posted it on Wattpad. I looked at the reviews. It seemed like if you can teach your kids how to maneuver through the internet you're good. There were many comments from parents that their kids can accidentally read mature and inappropriate works. There were a few teenagers that said not all stories are rated mature and are for kids. So I decided, "Let's do this!"

I made mah cover and whatnot. I told myself that this time I'm going to post once a week and stick to it. It's difficult planning, filming, editing and posting a Youtube video once a week, but this should be much easier. At the time I had 20 poems. All I had to do was post every Friday. Though, the story isn't finished yet.

I told myself to write one poem a day until it is completed. I now have 33 poems (it might be around 50 total). It's also not too hard to write because it's based off of what I've done after graduation, though some things are changed in the story.

If you're interested, it's called To be a Straw Hat. I made a promise to myself that no matter what happens! If no one reads it. If no one comments on it, and if no one "likes" it, I'm going to keep posting once a week until it's finished. No matter what!!

Next!

I did this.

You see that? Three external hard drives (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

I spent most of the day editing the footage I shot of my bro, dad and I building the tiny home on wheels. As of right now I have no idea how the film will start. Right now it's looking all over the place. I'm just editing one section at a time. We'll also add in some narration in parts. Hopefully that will make it look more harmonious.

While I was rendering some of the footage, I watched some Youtube videos about making money and read Tony Robbins "Awaken The Giant Within" book. I don't want to ramble on too much about this but it can be somewhat frustrating when you've been trying to be successful but you're not shooting through the stars yet. Not to say I haven't had some wins or even small wins here and there. But I'm not living that independent life style. I'm still at home with my family.

While reading Tony Robbins' book I had to stop and think at this part.

You're welcome to ask yourself these questions too!

I'm at the part where he says our questions are important. The ones we ask on a daily basis. Because questions lead to what you focus on.

After a lot of thinking I'm not going to bore you with, I thought of a few things of why I'm not where I want to be financially.

1) I'm not showing people what I can do.

2) The things I can do are the basics of what many filmmakers already know. But what people don't know, is that I can do the basics really well. Plus I'm actually punctual.

3) I need more confidence and to be more courageous. I need to enter rooms saying, "I AM HERE."

4) I should stop being afraid to ask people for money (from bosses, costumers and such)

You know, if our work could speak for themselves I'd be so happy. I wouldn't have to be a fake extrovert at times.

All in all I'm going to keep moving forward. In a saturated world I'm going to keep trying to stand out.

Best,

Emel