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  • Writer's pictureemelsaat28

Bored Blog 33: Are You Hesitating to Tell Someone How You Feel?

3/28/2022



They say you shouldn't talk to people about three things.

1) Your next move/future plans

2) Politics

3) Your love life


We'll be focusing on number 3 today because I can't get it out of my head. I'm sure you're not interested in a strangers love life. Don't worry I won't bore you with too much about it.


A few years ago I was walking down the street with my friend-we'll call her Jade. We were catching up because we haven't seen each other for a while. I told her the news of my new boyfriend. She was happy for me because, "it's difficult for two people to like each other." When she said that I was a little confused. Confused because when you walk down the streets of New York you see a whole lot of couples. How is it hard for two people to like each other?


Later, I ended my relationship with the guy. It lasted around 3 months? when it should have lasted a week. We were just two opposites. After that I did some online dating. I met guys who seemed to like me more than me...having any feelings for them. It seems a majority of people assume because it's online dating things should be able to happen faster, but then that's not a real relationship. A real relationship takes time. After a while on the app, I got tired of online dating and deleted it.


I'm going to tell this as fast as I can.


I hung out with an old friend. It all seemed fun and easy to be around him. Some old feelings I never told him about came back. I met up with him again. Told him my feelings knowing he's too busy with work to focus on any romantic relationship. Got rejected. And we're still good friends!


This is the third time I told a guy I liked him and got rejected. The difference with this time is that he took it well and he started being nicer to me (more than usual). Though for some reason it felt like an indie film where the two main characters don't get together in the end. I always hate it when a filmmaker or someone would say, "That's what real love is. Where no one ends up together." I reject that. No story really ends until (not to sound dark here, but) when the main character dies. We go through chapters in life, not movies.


Back to my friend Jade, she was right. It is hard for two people to like each other. Getting two people together is tough because we all have our own lives. Our own things going on and our own beliefs (on a lot of things). To aline with someone takes work and adjusting.


But I would like to add that it doesn't mean it all ends when someone says no. It ether means "not right now," or God saying, "this isn't the right person for you." (Obviously don't push someone to be with you. If you wouldn't want to be pressured into a relationship then don't do the same to someone else.)


For anyone who is scared to tell someone how you feel-it's difficult. For sure. I lost a few pounds because I was so nervous to tell my friend. You probably have thoughts like, "Will things change between us?", "Am I crazy?", "Maybe I'm misreading my feelings?", "For all I know they probably hate me", "I'm going to look stupid." And probably a bunch of other thoughts that are stopping you from doing anything. What you could do is have these thoughts for a day or two, tell them your feelings and be able to sleep at night for knowing how they feel in return...or live your days with, "Why didn't I tell him/her when I had the chance?"


For me, I'm glad I said something. Could you imagine if he one day got a girlfriend and I still have these feelings stuck in my throat? That would be messy if something slipped out. I do not regret it! There are also no regrets for the other two guys I told. Once I told them, it didn't take too long to move on. For this last guy though, my gut says to wait and see. That or just take a long break from dating and guys.


I know a lot of us are always waiting for the other person to do something. To show us some kind of sign. To make the first move. Though GUESS WHAT? They're probably expecting the same from you. Either find out now or live the rest of your life not knowing.


I say, "Go for it! You got this!"


Best,

Emel


P.S.

When I was met my friend who was visiting from California, it was too cold. I wasn't able to wear the sweater. (>_<) But it was great catching up with him.

There's always next time!


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