2/24/2020, Thursday
For all of the hard work you do for your dream, do your friends and family actually support you? I thought mine did.
Yesterday morning I was finishing the last episode (for now) on Tiny Homes NYC. For some reason we have gotten a couple new followers with no increase of views, likes or comments.
You can watch the first episode here.
Another project I finished was Broken. I spent Monday and Tuesday emailing people and messaging people directly on social media to watch the online premiere of the documentary.
I reached out to a bunch of people I know and friends that I haven't talked to in a while. One thing that I love about being a filmmaker is that it gives an introvert like me, an excuse to talk to people I secretly want to be friends with, but can't because making friends as an adult is hard (and sometimes comes off as weird). Anyway, a few people responded they'd love to see the premiere, some didn't respond, and some said they'd watch it later because of work.
Then, I got a couple people mention how I was progressing (in life? in film?), they were proud of me and even thanked me for brining light to the homeless issue.
Reading those messages I felt annoyed (though bringing light to the homeless issue has been going on for a long time. Most politicians don't actually care, so I'm not sure if the film, Broken will change the world). At first it was because I don't think I'm really doing anything. I haven't progressed in life. I'm still at my parents home and I'm not making anywhere near 4 or 5 figures. As for videos on YouTube, on average I get 10 views and no likes or comments. I have no idea what these people are talking about when they say they're proud of me or that I'm progressing.
For some reason I couldn't shake these thoughts off of my mind. I went to my Father and talked to him about it. This isn't the first time we've talked about our friends messaging us directly saying what a good job we're doing with our tiny home project, but get no response on our posts on social media. It doesn't add up. I asked, "I don't get how some Youtubers get so much interaction on their videos?" My dad said, "It's because those followers aren't family and friends. It's strangers that want to support them." He then said, "It's because they [our friends and family] are jealous. They see us doing what we're doing, and they know they're not doing anything with their lives." It clicked.
This pissed me off (Yes, I get some people can be too busy to be on social media at times, but ignoring us for years and only privately congratulating us does not make sense).
Note: We currently have 666 followers and this photo got 3 likes and 1 comment. That one comment is from someone who wants us to pay them to advertise our instagram account.
Note: This may be hard to read. We currently have 457 followers, 9 views, 3 likes, and one comment from my own Father. The video has been out for 3 days and was posted on 3 different social media platforms and in our facebook group that has around 1,000 followers.
Note: For Broken's premiere we currently have 81 views, 13 followers, 14 likes and no comments. The views here is much better than the the amount of views the other videos I made on EFH Film's channel. Though that's because I messaged a little more than 100 people (excluding the online groups I posted in).
This all seems so ingenue. It's funny because I thought this whole time no one disliked us. No one said anything bad about us online. They didn't dislike our posts. I assumed no one was seeing our work. Our videos probably aren't showing up on our friends feed ( though this could be a partial reason to the lack of engagement?).
I always heard successful people talk about their friends and family not supporting their dreams when they were climbing up to the top. It didn't seem like that was happening to my Father, bro and I. At the time I accepted those individual positive complements as people supporting us. But the reality was we have been publicly ignored by a majority of the people we know. We get friends telling us in person or in a private message, "I see what you guys are doing. It's great!" And they usually don't reach out to us out of the blue. It's when we contact them or want to meet up with them. They all want to stalk us without anyone else knowing.
Now that I know the truth, I feel a bit better. Why? Because for a long time I thought my work wasn't good enough. For a long time I've been making videos for an empty theater (figuratively). I've been posting our small wins on instagram that get 2-3 likes and no comments. I thought I was dumping hard work into a black hole. But, I didn't want to give up because I knew my work had some good points. I wouldn't work on something if I didn't see great potential. Now, that I know we're being ignored on purpose it shows that it has nothing to do with the work I put out. It has nothing to do with me and all to do with them.
That's fine. They can deal with all that dead weight, and I can continue to do the work that I want to do.
I want to tell all of them to stop following my dad and I if they don't actually like us. That way they can stop lying to us. It makes no sense to follow someone you don't like or who you don't want to support. It's not good for them.
If you're following someone you don't like, then unfollow them. Do it for your mental health, because your mental health affects your physical health in the long-run.
If you or anyone else is going through something similar, I hope this helps you in some way.
For those of you who aren't being supported by your friends or family with your dream-I know it sucks, but you just need YOU and ONE other person to believe in you. Even if it's a stranger passing by in your life. You don't need more people than that to keep going.
You got this.
A quick update: That new opportunity I was talking about (in blog #30)...you're not going to believe it. If you've been reading Bored Blogs for a while, you'll know I really enjoy watching Sam and Colby's channel. Sooo, I got an interview with their producer for a job! I was ecstatic for 5 days straight. After the interview I got an email this past Monday saying I didn't get the job...but, he wants to keep in touch and wants me to help them with a segment in the future! Which to me, is just as exciting. I hope to one day become friends with all of them. They're really cool people that actually do what they say they'll do. Basically a thing called, "Keeping your word." Something a lot of people I have met have yet to do.
Hope you're dong well. Have an awesome day/night!
Best,
Emel