Bored Blog 24: Do You Feel Alone and Wonder Why?

11/30/2021

It is practically winter on the east coast! How have ya been?

I'm going to try to keep this short.

Do you feel alone? Maybe you don't have many friends. I feel ya. It could be that you and I haven't found the right people to hang around with.

There's this website that I subscribed to called Dumb and Wise where this guy, Sam talks about life, confidence, philosophy and other things. He posted something today that I think that could help you as well.

Usually you get general advice such as "Be more confident. Put yourself out there. Be yourself and you'll attract the right people." What do you do with that? Where is the instruction manual?

Sam said (and this isn't his exact words), "Talk about the things you like to talk about with people. Tell the jokes you think are funny. If they're not into it or don't end up liking you that's fine. The people that do like the same topics and jokes that you do are the people you want to be around."

This kind of advice is specific. This is something you or I could easily do.

If you're an extrovert who likes talking, go out there and practice talking about what you like. Who cares about pleasing others if you're going to end up with fake friendships.

For the introverts, I hear ya. I personally like listening to people and learning from them. Also, the topics I do like...I have no idea how to stretch out my one to two sentence comment about it to a longer conversation lol. Maybe I'll start by asking people some interesting questions that would bring the other person to talk more...for a start.

Hope this helps you!

What are some things you like to talk about? Do you think give Sam's advice a try? Email me your thoughts at LuckyDaruma7@gmail.com

I might get a new email soon lol.

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 23: How Do You Love Yourself?

11/ 8/2021

How's it going?

You've heard people say, "love yourself," right? They talk about it but no one really explains what that looks like. What are the actual actions you need to do to you love yourself?

Yesterday, my dad and I walked/ran the NYC Marathon. It was his first time while it was my third time doing this. I only went so my dad would have someone to push him to the finish line. He did a great job! And NO we did not train for it...we probably trained 3-4 times this past year...I highly recommend training because we've been limping around the house all day!

People usually say the Marathon is a physical and mental challenge. That is true. Personally for me the actual challenge were the people on the side lines. I'm not trying to show off, there are probably other people out there like myself. For me the mental challenge was nothing. For the physical challenge-it hurt, but it was expected. The pain wasn't enough to make me stop. It honestly made me want to run the whole thing so I could finish sooner. The number 1 challenge was the attention from the people on the side lines.

Hear me out.

I've done cross country in high school. After finishing a race I'd get bored. I'd stand on the side lines waiting to cheer for my other team members as they run to the finish line. But even that was boring because we had a small team and they were spread out across the course. Our team was super new when I joined freshman year. Sooooo to pass the time I cheered for other schools. Each kid that was around 40 feet (or so?) from the finish line I yelled at them "Good job! You're almost there! Run faster!"

Guess what happened? Some of those kids did run faster, and not just that, other kids from my team who finished their race joined me. We started cheering not just for our own team, but for others' at each race. We then became known by other schools as the nicest cross country team!

Apparently after I graduated they continued this cheering tradition.

I promise you I have a point to all this. Stay with me on this.

The reason I started it was out of boredom, but I learned I genuinely wanted these strangers to feel happy. I wanted to give them their moment. Running 3 miles as a high school student is tough...well a lot of people wouldn't even try to run 3 miles. Also, cross country isn't that fun for the audience to watch or for the runners to run. The only exciting part of it all was reaching that finish line!

So these students from other schools deserved a chance to be in the spot light at least for a moment.

The best times when we cheered for them and our own teammates was when you can see the runners eyes' change from tired to, "I need to run faster because these guys are cheering for me!" That's when they started to run harder. Then all of our energy would spike up. We'd yell all at once, "Yeah!!! KEEP GOING!!!"

Times such as that is when everyone is sharing the moment. Everyone is on the same wave length. That's what makes moments like that special.

Now, when you cheer for someone which would you prefer? Someone who responds to your cheering, pumps their fist in the air, shares in on your happiness or someone who sheepishly keeps walks past you, ignores you, or gives an awkward wave?

You'd want them to bounce back the same energy you're giving out, or better yet amplifies your energy!

For me, I enjoy cheering for people. But when it's the other way around I have no idea what to do. I question if I deserve to be cheered for because I feel like I didn't work hard enough for it, or I can't celebrate yet this isn't finished, or are they cheering for someone behind me?

Have you ever felt like that? It can be for anything. Everyone celebrating your birthday, co-workers throwing you a party because you got promoted, or winning best costume at a competition.

This year for the Marathon I told myself to respond to the people cheering on the side lines. I had my name on my bib so they could yell out my name. I kept a look out for people wanting to cheer. When I found some people cheering at anyone passing by I'd pump my fist in the air, and they'd get all excited and shout...it could have been because I had a Gopro strapped to my head, but I accepted it anyways. This was my time to practice receiving some positive energy form strangers.

My dad and I gave high fives to people and kids along the way. I kept telling myself, "They don't have to be here cheering for everyone, but they are. I should return some energy to them." I kept pumping my fist and giving some "Woohoos!" even though my voice sometimes cracked. There were times people didn't respond to me, but I told myself, "That's alright. You'll [me] get a cheer next time."

There were times my energy was sheepish, but I kept at it. This was my time to practice receiving instead of giving.

There are runners that have done the Marathon multiple times even though they know the pain they'll feel during it. Some of them have told me they do it for the people cheering on the side lines. It's like the one day a year they feel like a celebrity (not exactly their words). Personally I do it because my mom keeps dragging me into it.

Thinking about the other runners' reason as I was with my dad, I thought this was my chance to practice being a "loved celebrity." Whatever kind of "celebrity" I might turn out to be one day (maybe "popular" would be a better term.)

There was this one magical moment in Brooklyn. The street got smaller and we were going past these bars. There were a lot of people cheering with beer in their hands. There was a row of people on each side of the street with their hands out for high-fives. My dad and I ran through them giving them one high-five right after the next. It was so exciting that I yelled out, "Yeaaaaaah!" I thought, "So this is what famous people probably feel like." It was amazing.

It's a memory I'll be replaying in my head from now on.

As I practiced receiving positivity from these strangers, I realized this is a form of loving yourself in a humble way.

So, I ask all you givers out there to practice receiving things from others with high energy and lots of gratitude. The more energy you show, the happier the person who gave you the gift will be.

What other ways can you "love yourself?"

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 22: Doing What You Want When You Want

10/29/2021

You know when you see something really cool such as some people going out in the back yard to make huge soap bubbles or some YouTubers going to an abandoned place and you say to yourself, "I want to do that!" Then a few minutes later or a day later when you have the chance to do that thing you say, "Nah, I'm not doing that."

Why do we do that?

Is it because it would be embarrassing to do it? People would judge you if you do it? Your reason isn't good enough to convince your friends to do it with you? Other plans getting in the way?

I joined the Xplr club Sam and Colby have. Yes, I know I sound like a Kpop fan, but it's only a dollar for this month. After October I'm canceling it. Got to save that money!

They have a video of them in NY State, on this hiking trail to this abandoned hotel.

I can't show you their video because it's exclusive to their site. When I looked up the place they went to I was shocked...I can take a bus there!

I wanted to go the next day while I was feeling all this excitement, but I knew I had to do some planning on how to get there. I was thinking of going with a friend, but they all have 9-5 jobs and my weekends are full because that's when my friends are free.

This was a journey I had to do on my own. My dad said he could go with me, but this was something I needed to do by myself. I love him and my family, it's just that I spend a lot of time with them. Even though I live with them it doesn't mean I can't grow some independence.

I booked the busses I needed and there was no going back.

Here's a TikTok video of my journey.

And some photos and clips below.

I'm really proud of myself for going out there and doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. It's something I want to do more often. Even if it's wearing a cool hat that might not suit me, but hey, I like it. So I'm going to wear it.

And you can do it too! I don't mean climbing this mountain...well if you want...lol. If there's something you want to do I say go do it!

Live an awesome life while you still can.

Best,

Emel

P.S.

Age doesn't matter.