Bored Blog 15: Everyone Should Have a Goal

8/9/2021

"New month, new me!" is what we should really be saying. This way we keep ourselves on track of our goals. Or if you want to take it further by saying, "New week, new me," or even, "New day, new me!!"

Let's catch up.

My editing has been slowing down. It's mostly because I have been going out more with my friends. It's pretty bad because when I know I have plans later in the day, I get scared that if I get too into my work I'll lose track of time. And when I lose track of time, I'll forget to meet with my friends, and then they would call me and ask, "Where are you?!"

So, I sacrifice my editing to remember to meet with my friends. Of course I set up an alarm, but I can't always fully focus on my task. If I had an assistant to remind me of stuff, this wouldn't be a problem.

While I am seeing friends, I have been spending money...and I want to stop. It's not like I'm spending money on things. All the money is spent on food and transportation. I keep it cheep by using the train (or walking when I can), and paying for one meal, no drinks, no snacks, and no appetizers. Even though I'm keeping my budget low, I have been out for four days in a row...that's too much money! Money that I could have saved for projects or investments (so far for Bitcoin).

It's the summer and I want to enjoy outside as much as possible before it gets too cold to do anything outside.

Random thought; It's interesting that a lot of free stuff happens during the summer and not so much in the winter.

This morning I was frustrated that I don't know anyone who specializes in anything that I can invest in. I was showing my frustration with my dad in the kitchen. I was saying, "There has to be something else. I don't want to rely on one thing [Bitcoin]." He said, "There's nothing else going on right now. The dollar is going down, and they're trying to shut down the country again." I kept thinking that there has to be other opportunities out there. The rich are able to get rich because they have more than one way to earn money. And relying on something like Bitcoin, where you have to wait some years for it to grow...it makes me think, "But what about for now?"

They say when you invest in stocks you are planting a seed. And that seed has to grow until you're in your 60's or 70's when you can't do as much as a 20 year old. Yes, I get that. I have that seed...but WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? There has to be more. I have to do more.

I've written a short story, and put it onto googleplay as an ebook and a few other places. I have also set up a Redbubble account for ATC and I'm Not Here/me. They all need lots of advertising or word of mouth for people to want to buy them...

I did buy an I'm Not Here Shirt and got it in the mail a couple days ago! I don't have a photo of it now, but I'll add a photo when I can. It's in the laundry.

My family and friends like it so far. And I'm going to wear it when I go to events and stuff. You got to self advertise.

I really hope that these building blocks actually build something to where I want to be. I even lowered the percentage I receive from Redbubble so the prices wouldn't be so high.

Oh! On my twitter I went from 110? to 93 or something followers. It's only a matter of time these "follow for follow" people will be gone. I'm only following maybe three of them. The others I checked their stuff and didn't feel I related to their content. It's also nice to have a a few people and not be bombarded with posts.

I am getting better at posting things on instagram and leaving the app alone. I don't need to waste anymore time on it.

On to another subject, I met with an old high school friend that I haven't talked to for a long time. When he got on the topic of his girlfriend he said he felt more like an adult now because "before I was always taking care of myself, and now I have to take care of someone else."

I've never heard of that and kept wondering how being in a relationship makes you feel like an adult?

I talked to my friend (who was also there) and she said, "It's because he's a guy. Guys usually take care of themselves, while women generally think about [take care of] others." Once she said that it made sense. It might not be like that for everyone, but generally that's how it is.

Other than that, lately for the first time in a while I haven't been thinking too much on having a boyfriend. I'm more concerned about having/making money to support myself...and then also becoming super rich! 10 million should be good.

I've tried dating and I haven't met a guy that clicks. There was one dude, but he doesn't have time for anything but his job. Apparently he's so busy that he can't even text "Hi." It seemed like a waste of time, so I moved on. Besides that I don't really know anyone. I'm not in an office where there are maybe some guys my age who are single that I could pick from.

Sooooo, while God is preparing for the day I meet mah future husband, I'm going to keep working on my projects and think of ways to make/invest money. If I don't do that, then I'd be sitting at home doing nothing as I wait for Mr.Right to nock on my door.

I heard that successful women in their 30's can't find a guy because the guy either make less money than her, or he's looking at the 20 year olds. Then there was some complaining about women should focus less on their careers and more on finding a guy because they only have so many years to have kids. While men have all the time in the world to work and then have a family. It sucks. It really does suck. But you know, biology.

For me, I'd like to be with a guy (while going after my dreams), but there aren't any around me. So, I'm just going to work until he comes around. Also, I wouldn't mind if he made less than me, but I'm not going to be a sugar mama. No way! He's got to have some kind of goal in life.

Not just guys, but everyone should have some kind of goal! No one should be lazy.

Not sure how else to end so...

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 14: Wanting Adventure

7/31/2021, Saturday

Heeeyyy, I didn't forget about you.

After some thinking, I'm going to write every few days instead of every day. Mostly because I don't want you to keep reading the same topics over and over.

On Monday I was having my usual freak out. Asking myself, "Where am I going in life? Am I happy? What's missing? Am I actually growing as a person?

These questions always lead me to do something I won't usually do, or to say "F**** it, I'm going for it."

I asked my bro's friend's girlfriend to read a script I've been working on for a while. It's called みやざきさんへ...or Dear Mr. Miyazaki (for now?). It follows a shy boy who finds out Miyazaki is retiring. He goes on a magical journey with some new friends, one friend he thought he'd never see again, and his school bully, from NYC to Tokyo. It's live action with some animation.

It has been a looooooong time since I had received a critique of my work. I was nervous. Also, I wasn't sure if she was going to do it because I have never really spoken too much to her before. To my surprise she said she'd love to read it!

She gave me some feedback through email. (;;;*_*)

I was freaking out and didn't want to look at it...but eventually I had to.

She ended up really liking it. She said she used to read spec scripts. There were many she wasn't into, but this scrip was very engaging!

We talked back and forth. She said she'd like to help me in anyway she can with the script!

After talking with her I'm so happy I reached out. And even though we don't know each other very well, I'm very thankful she spent her time to read my script.

Now, the next step...

Right...I still have stuff to do.

I finished working on all the promotional videos for Broken. They will be posted on YoutTube once a week. Today, I was going to go back to editing the Tiny Home Movie, but I ended up editing a trailer for Broken to put on Instagram. I need to figure out when I can edit my Miyazaki script.

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I have no idea how this happened, but I saw online someone mentioning the Stanley Hotel in Colorado, which is something I've never heard of. When I looked it up on Youtube, apparently its a really haunted hotel. I clicked on the first video.

I didn't realize it would be an hour long. Somehow I just sat through it and got really engaged in their adventure. Then I got curious of their next hour long ghost hunt, and their next one.

Watching them made me want to join them on all of the fun. I want to feel the thrill but I don't want to call evil spirits...ha ha...

I did share this website I found with my friends a few years ago of this haunted road trip. It's where you visit haunted places along the road or something like that. After watching these guys, I really wanted to call my friends and say, "Let's do the road trip now!"

But didn't, because they're busy women who probably won't reply in time when I was already so hyped up!

Instead, I went into a rabbit hole of who these ghost guys are. I'm not sure if you already know them, but these guys started on Vine when they were 14 or so and kept going until they went to Youtube.

Man, I just think they have such an exciting life traveling and being financially secure. Like, super secure. I was thinking "Huh, maybe one day we'll bump into each other and I can join them on their trip." But then I saw a video where they said, "We're going to stop ghost hunting and try new things," ･ﾟ･(｡>ω<｡)･ﾟ･

I was also thinking about filming the haunted ghost trip with my friends and what that would be like. One of my friends is camera shy...but I'll still film her.

I tried to think who would be who on the trip as characters. My camera shy friend would be the silly creepy one. My other friend would be...hmmm...she would be the friendly extrovert of the group, and I might be the planner/winging it person of the group. And we'd all be scaredy cats who freak out at every sound we hear.

I should probably get my driver's license before going. It would be cool to do this in late September/early October. Just when the leaves change colors.

Also, I don't know how great of a video it would turn out to be, because none of us would want to call out to any spirits...

I dug a little more into Sam and Colby's show this morning. I'm two years behind on their content. So in their latest video they said they miss going to haunted places and will get back into it. The only thing is, it's just going to be the two of them and not the gang. Which I was really saaaad about :(

It's not going to be the same. And their dynamic as a group is really good. They're funny, serious, and adventures when they're all together.

Obviously it's their lives. They can do what they want. It just felt like a show that I didn't want to end. But these are regular people having fun...

Man, I wish I could have as much fun as they dooooooo!

Man, I wish I had friends I grew up with who are into the same stuff. Then we'd go off on adventures, film it and have an awesome time.

This is why I need to make more friends. Friends who are into the same or similar stuff. And not just that, I'd need to make some more money too.

I'm just whining at this point lol.

Maybe I should do a solo trip....nah it's not going to be as fun.

I feel so stuck at home with all this editing. I want to run around.

It's hard to say where I'm going with all of this. To sum it up, I want my life to be different. I just need to figure out how to do that.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 13: Following the Signs

7/25/2021

I have realized that I may not be able to write a post every day. Things come up and I don't always have time to write.

Thank you for still sticking around. You are an awesome blog reader.

Today was another round of "What are you doing with your life Emel? What? What is it?"

If you're not asking yourself a similar question once a month then that's how you can lose your way. It's good to check in on yourself.

But I don't ask this question to check in on myself. I do this because I don't have a mentor or a teacher. Plus I like trying new things and learning about new things, which can distract me from what I should really be focusing on.

It makes me think where would I be if I stayed focused on one thing. But if I didn't drift off to visit other islands, would I have any stories to tell? Where would I have gotten my people skills from (something that still needs work on)? Where would my story ideas come from?

For the Tiny Home community project, I'm the cinematographer/editor/my dad's assistant. He doesn't always remember things, has people he needs to call, he needs a third and fourth hand to hold the measuring tape and whatnot. I can't say I enjoy this work, but I know it's the future and it's a dream that needs to become a reality.

Too many people are drowning in expenses. The homeless population in America has been increasing for the past couple of years (though it kind of has always been increasing, but it's been increasing even more). In 2020 California has had a 36% increase in homelessness. Crazy shiz if I do say so myself.

Today on Filmfreeway I got a message.

Yeaaahhhhhhh (o^∀^o)

The confetti was moving down my screen and the heart was beating. I stared at it for a while to take it in. At first I felt indifferent about it. From all the rejections for I'm Not Here, my numb auto pilot was on. I had to take a second to turn it off to be happy about this win.

The virtual confetti flapped down the web page and I thanked God for this win. I hope this is an in person event. Online festivals have no emotion. They said they'll email me again with the next steps.

This win was probably God confirming, " Emel, this is what you need to do. Film."

I believe he sends signs to us every day. We just ignore them. If we do listen to him and read a sign wrong he'll keep directing us to the right direction until we get it right.

I was talking to my mother earlier before receiving the email from Filmfreeway. I told her, "I'm feeling fuzzy on where I'm going and what I want to do." She asked, "Do you still want to do film?" I said, "Yes." She said, "That's good enough."

We talked more and she suggested I should network more.

She's absolutely right. My filmmaker friend circle is tiny. There are two people I actually talk to and one of them is the producer I work for who has only made two films and has grown up during a time where people read more than watched films.

This one guy from my college who was also a film major messaged me today asking if I knew anyone in film who would hire him. I laughed because of my connections. I then thought if he's really looking to build a portfolio then we could team up to make some short films.

I'll go ask him.

Best,

Emel