Bored Blog 3: Spending Too Much Time With Self-Help

7/12/2021

Wow! 3 days in a row. This is looking pretty good.

Yesterday and today I had some time to think about my life as the films I'm editing slowly save or render. There's this new Youtube channel that YouTube suggested to me. It's called Sorelle Amore Finance. The lady seems pretty cool and somehow familiar? After some time I realized that I've seen her Youtube commercial before. It's her in some swimsuit? by some really nice pool with a nice home in the background. I don't remember what she was talking about, but at first glance it felt like she was trying too hard to be quirky. And now I'm following her new channel.

I watched her video of how she became a millionaire over night it made me think what I was doing with my life. Also, she did not become a millionaire over night. The things she did for years lead up to when she started making lots of money.

It's so easy to find people who are successful that it can make you feel pressured to do the same or that you're not there yet.

I was in a slump yesterday and this morning about not being successful yet.

I've tried a lot of things. I've tried making a manga, a novel, some short films, selling T-shirts online, selling stuff on craigslist, posting on instagram to spread the word and get a following, and other things.

In most of the younger millionaires of today they had a great following. In their videos they talk about all these other passive income ideas, but they don't work unless you have followers. Which is the thing I'm bad at. It could be because I'm not showing things people like/need or I need the word of mouth approach. There is also the possibility that I can be all over the place when what people want is consistency. Consistency in the type of stories I write, films that I make or consistency in when I put out things to the world.

I'm a one man team most of the time. It's hard to say when things will be done. Also, I like to learn and try things I've never done before!

It sounds like I have two forces butting heads. One being the freedom to do what I want, and two being the business side where things should be consistent. Buuuuut the millionaire Sorelle, says you should do what makes you happy and not solely because you want to make money. After you have your audience you can ask for money.

I'm going to try again by gaining some kind of following by doing what I love and I'm praying things will click into place for me. Also, this economy may suck, but at least my parents are understanding and let me live with them until the day I can be financially independent. For that I thank them.

Another thing I can change is put my work out there, care less what people think (not that anyone is really looking) and have fun with it.

I also saw this on Linkedin and thought you'd like it as well.

Go ahead and screenshot it, put it as your cellphone wall-paper or whatever.

I also stumbled on this guy's channel Ali Abdaal and saw this video. Which is pretty much the thing that inspired me to do this. I'm not saying this will make me a millionaire, but writing a blog has been something I've kind of wanted to do. I just didn't have the courage before.

After watching more of these types of self millionaire videos I began to think I'm spending so much time listening to these people who have a lot of knowledge, but what am I doing? What is it that I'm doing on a daily bases?

I wake up, check my phone, edit films, watch Youtube channels, watch Netflix, text friends, check messages on other social media stuff (where there aren't any messages), run once in a while aaaand it's already dinner time. And at dinner time I'm watching a show with my siblings in the living room. I'm clearly not putting anything into practice.

It's crazy that there's so much attainable knowledge and you can still spend your days at home doing nothing. I think part of it is that it's overwhelming how much there is and it takes a long time to see results. And on social media there's nothing but results on there. Life is a whole lot of working and waiting for the results. Which is why I try to do things while waiting.

I've started projects. Some get finished, some I get back to later and the rest have been left unfinished.

One thing I'm going to do is spend less time watching videos and more time doing other things. That might be a good start to moving forward. I'll be sooooo bored that I'll have to do the things that aren't fun. I'll have to work on my projects and finish them earlier. I'll have to find other ways to fill my days.

Maybe this way I won't feel any of that social media pressure. I'll be more satisfied with the things I'm doing. I'll grow more as a person and maybe even grow financially. Maybe even find a boyfriend who also believes in God. Who knows?

Okay let's do this. I'm only allowed to watch Netflix once a week. I can only watch Youtube videos for no more than an hour a day. At dinner...can't get around shows at dinner with my family. But on social media I'm going to post what I want. I won't scroll through stuff. Does that sound like a deal?

Good!

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 2: You Have to Stop and Ponder About Your Life

7/11/2021

Surprisingly I was pretty excited to write my next blog post today. Even though as of right now I have no readers ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I've never done this or followed any blogs, so I have no idea when to post. I feel like I should write them at the end of the day...after stuff happens. That way I have things to post for my (non existent) readers! And maybe reading a blog post in the evening/night could be relaxing for ya.

A friend of mine was happy I finally started this, but it turned out he got blog and vlog mixed up. When I said "It's the written one," he replied, "That's boring." lol

I would do a vlog, but I share a room with mah sis. She's not the type to be cool with me recording in our room and being noisy.

Let's get this show on the road!

I woke up.

I looked at my phone.

There were no messages. So I checked my email. I got something from Paypal saying $89 dollars was spent to Lift-Off Global Network (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾). I sat up wide awake in my bed. I'm a lady who carries around a water bottle so I don't have to pay for drinks throughout the day. So this was big news for me. Part of me was upset and another part of me was like, " I should have seen this coming."

Lift-Off Global Network is a website for fellow filmmakers to chat, post and Facebook blah. They also hold festivals that are posted on Filmfreeway. Last year I entered Koko Ni Inai (I'm Not Here) (a short film I wrote, directed, produced, edited and more blah) to a few of the Lift-Off film festivals. I got into 3 of them which was pretty cool. The first time I got in, they let me go through this one year free trial of Lift-Off Global Network. Which was better than nothing.

Anyway, I didn't use it much. It was everyone posting their films and hoping someone with money will work with them on another project. They do have zoom events I think? Which they post later on their Youtube channel. If you were or ever think of joining Lift-Off Global Network, the people are nice, but I didn't get much from it. It probably depends how active you are on there.

I canceled my account, which deletes all my posts and whatnot so people can forget about me ever existing.

After that, I felt like today I should get back into running. So I ran 3 miles, got home, showered, then I had to write a poem.

Let me explain. The short story is, I came up with the idea of writing poems that tell a story when you read all of them together. It's not just a story, I wanted it to inspire people who want to work for themselves. I would use the word "entrepreneur," but after asking some FB writing groups if they would read a book of poems about an entrepreneur and their story, there were people who clearly had no idea what "entrepreneur" meant. That and people who have never met an entrepreneur in their life. Their minds went to the image of that guy in Wolf of Wall Street. Someone who lies and steps on people to get to the top. If this is you I have to tell you, that's not it at all.

Writers who don't work with a publishing company are entrepreneurs. Independent filmmakers are entrepreneurs. People who are indie comic book writers or authors (or both) are entrepreneurs. Indie rappers are entrepreneurs, musicians, dancers, painters and other types of artists are entrepreneurs. Anyone who owns their own business. There are soooooooooo many types of entrepreneurs out there and people are only thinking of guys like Wolf of Wall Street.

There were a lot of negative comments on facebook. There was one writing group where there were actually nice people. Some said, "If the poems rhyme then yeah! I'll read it." I smiled and said to myself, "Of course!"

I was going to post it on my filmmaker website, but I decided to post it on a website that was free and has people who read/write. I found one called Wattpad. Before I posted it on Wattpad. I looked at the reviews. It seemed like if you can teach your kids how to maneuver through the internet you're good. There were many comments from parents that their kids can accidentally read mature and inappropriate works. There were a few teenagers that said not all stories are rated mature and are for kids. So I decided, "Let's do this!"

I made mah cover and whatnot. I told myself that this time I'm going to post once a week and stick to it. It's difficult planning, filming, editing and posting a Youtube video once a week, but this should be much easier. At the time I had 20 poems. All I had to do was post every Friday. Though, the story isn't finished yet.

I told myself to write one poem a day until it is completed. I now have 33 poems (it might be around 50 total). It's also not too hard to write because it's based off of what I've done after graduation, though some things are changed in the story.

If you're interested, it's called To be a Straw Hat. I made a promise to myself that no matter what happens! If no one reads it. If no one comments on it, and if no one "likes" it, I'm going to keep posting once a week until it's finished. No matter what!!

Next!

I did this.

You see that? Three external hard drives (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

I spent most of the day editing the footage I shot of my bro, dad and I building the tiny home on wheels. As of right now I have no idea how the film will start. Right now it's looking all over the place. I'm just editing one section at a time. We'll also add in some narration in parts. Hopefully that will make it look more harmonious.

While I was rendering some of the footage, I watched some Youtube videos about making money and read Tony Robbins "Awaken The Giant Within" book. I don't want to ramble on too much about this but it can be somewhat frustrating when you've been trying to be successful but you're not shooting through the stars yet. Not to say I haven't had some wins or even small wins here and there. But I'm not living that independent life style. I'm still at home with my family.

While reading Tony Robbins' book I had to stop and think at this part.

You're welcome to ask yourself these questions too!

I'm at the part where he says our questions are important. The ones we ask on a daily basis. Because questions lead to what you focus on.

After a lot of thinking I'm not going to bore you with, I thought of a few things of why I'm not where I want to be financially.

1) I'm not showing people what I can do.

2) The things I can do are the basics of what many filmmakers already know. But what people don't know, is that I can do the basics really well. Plus I'm actually punctual.

3) I need more confidence and to be more courageous. I need to enter rooms saying, "I AM HERE."

4) I should stop being afraid to ask people for money (from bosses, costumers and such)

You know, if our work could speak for themselves I'd be so happy. I wouldn't have to be a fake extrovert at times.

All in all I'm going to keep moving forward. In a saturated world I'm going to keep trying to stand out.

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 1: Hey

- The most recent photo I could find of myself. (And no, there is no option to make photos smaller)

7/10/2021

I've recently learned that I can sometimes sound sarcastic so, sarcasm might be sprinkled into my future blog posts...

Man, where to start?

Well, I tend to start things in the hopes something great comes out of it. But then I always forget that things take time...lots...and lots...of time. As of right now I cannot promise consistent everyday posts. Either because something came up, or doing this might feel boring. But! I am a person who will at least try.

Now, how do I run away from a boring o'l life?

Simple. Projects.

A couple days ago I recently finished editing for a documentary called Broken. It's about homeless women in NYC. That's right. One of the richest cities in the world has people living on the streets.

The producer I work for is 82 years old and this is her second film. She used to be a professor in literature, has a lot of energy for her age, and has some problems with her memory. Despite her trouble remembering things here and there and her age, she's doing what she loves! And to me that's pretty awesome.

Back to Broken. I think she and my friend started filming in 2019. Once my friend and his wife moved out of NYC, he asked me to take his place in working on the documentary. At that time I was working with my dad cleaning up this mansion (a friend's place) we were Air B & Bing for. I agreed to work on Broken. At the time it had been a while since I worked on a film, but I was happy to get back into it. Also, this would be the first time I get to be paid on a film project.

Yesterday, I came to the producer's place (she doesn't have an office so we worked on the doc in her apartment) with a list of film festivals we should apply to. I thought it would take an hour, but the producer lost her memory pills. She said she we couldn't work unless she took one of those pills. IT took a while until we found them. She looked at the bottle and said, "I already took them." She got out of the kitchen and pulled out her chair to sit down. I was at a lost for words because either we wasted time looking for her pills, or that her last statement was false.

We finally sat down in front of her lap top. I was about to go to Filmfreeway (a website with thousands of film festivals) and the producer started talking about a friend she's known since he was a baby! She told me about his story. It was so interesting that I said, "That should be your next documentary."

It took 2 and a half hours to go through my list of 15 film festivals. In the end we put 13 film festivals in the shopping cart. Before I clicked "purchase," I did a quick prayer to God, "Please let Broken be successful! Please let us get in." I held my breath and *click.*

We did it. I only worked on this film for a year...but we did it. We still have to promote it. Which would be me posting it on social media, making some clips for Youtube and whatnot. But I can finally tell my friends and family that it's finished.

After the producer and I said our goodbyes (for the day), I was punching the air with enthusiasm! It's finished!!!!!

So now I'm at home and I don't have to meet the producer until next week. We usually meet once a week and the rest of my week is nothing. What do I do with my time now?

Well guess what? I have some footage from 2017. Footage of my bro, dad and I building a tiny home on wheels. Last week I went through the footage and labeled as much as I could of what was shown in each clip. I really want to finish this in two-three months. Hopefully!

Here's the link to the time-laps

Besides that I signed up for a roller skating dance class once a week. I like learning new things. Dance is fun and I really need to meet new people. I've been spending a lot of time at home siiiiiiince junior year of college.

Yeah, don't go to a commuter school. It's not fun.

Now for the stuff I should have put at the beginning of my first blog. If you've come this far, you are awesome.

I decided to do this hoping that something will change for me. That somehow if I practice putting myself out there I will build the confidence of being happy to share the films I make, the stories I write and whatever else I do; to friends, family or whoever. It's hard to put your stuff out there, and even harder to put your stuff out there when there's no audience. I just want to be proud of the things I've done because sometimes it can be kind of fun when there is no audience.

Best,

Emel