Bored Blog 18: Show Yourself

9/4/2021

Okay, this is going to be short.

Yesterday I did something I was nervous about doing. Maybe it's because I'm becoming too influenced by Sam and Colby. I've been trying to post more on instagram. Mostly stories, and not so much of posting photos. It's nice that in stories you can see who is actually looking at your stuff rather than seeing how many likes ya get.

But also, I'm trying to be less of a scaredy cat about my own work. So! I made a post of the story/poem book I've been working on since last year. It's the one on wattpad, To be a Straw Hat.

I was honest in my post saying need to be brave and show my work. I then added the summary of the story. The photo itself got 6 or so likes? But when I went to add another chapter or something later, two things happened. 1) I got 54 reads altogether! Before it said 23 or something. 2) Someone added my book to their Reading List!!! A SUGGESTED reading list. It was sooooo cool. It felt like some kind of accomplishment. I was also surprised that one of my friends read it as well! She liked it!

So everyone, this is why you should show your stuff. Yes, most people won't care. Although some people might surprise you.

Another thing, I met up with my friend yesterday. She moved back to the city from Texas. I was so happy to see her. She's one of my few friends who thinks bigger than having a 9-5 job. She's also trying to have more of a presence on social media. Which is great because we can collaborate! It will also be so much more fun doing things together than alone.

We'll have to try to work around her schedule though, but I'm excited. Thank you God for listening to me. I really needed a friend with a similar view of life. And I'm talking about going after your dreams kind of thinking (big dreams). Most of my friends or other people I know aren't really stretching themselves to bigger possibilities. There's a whole world out there!!

Is anyone else seeing this? There's a pretty big sky out there. There's a vast sea out there. There is a whole forest of who knows what out there. Let's go explore!

Yes, let's get ahead of ourselves. I'm feeling great and energized. Let's use this energy!

I'll go back to editing the tiny home footage after this.

You too. Go use your pent up energy to do something awesome!

Awwww maaaan. I was also watching this youtube lady for how to make Thumbnails for YT videos. I ended up watching this one. One tip was to post reels on instagram. I had a video with my friend who moved back to the city. I made a quick reel, added a 2000 song to it, tagged my friend and posted it. I was checking something on instagram a few hours later and laughed...I got 50 likes...what??? I usually get 12-20 likes on stuff. Yes, all the social media stuff I'm talking about sounds dumb, but I promise I'm just trying to be more brave.

They say everyone has a light inside them. You have a light inside you too! It's also said it's a selfish thing to dim your own light. You do that and you're keeping people from experiencing what you can give to the world. Bro, I'm still not sure what I can give to the world, but the first step I can take is to stop hiding and show my work.

Here are some filters I was playing around with. I've been feeling so happy that I was confident enough to put it in my stories on instagram.

Mwahahahahaha, okay.

I'm sorry I've never said this before, but if you'd like to reach out with your thoughts about life or the struggle of pumping yourself up/finding the inspiration to move forward, you can contact me at LuckyDaruma7@gmail.com. I'll definitely email you back.

Have a good one.

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 17: Having a Range of Emotions = A Good Life

9/1/2021

I'm back from Florida! I hope you had a good weekend. Shoot, it's already September. I'm excited for the Fall even though it lasts for two months lol.

Let's catch up. I was really excited to go to Florida with my siblings. As you may already know, I've been watching a lot of Sam & Colby videos. In my head I was thinking, "We're going to have our own adventure! No parents keeping us from doing what we want (we always go with one car)." The point of the trip was to visit our Grandma. I was happy to see her too. I can't imagine being cooped up inside all the time. So, she was very happy to see us.

When we got there the weather said it will rain for the ENTIRE time we're there. I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the rain, but I didn't know how much it would effect the trip. I had a list of all this stuff we could do, but it was all outdoors.

I also forgot how much of a homebody my sis is...so it was hard to convince her to go out. I remember on Sunday we spent an hour with our Grandma outside. It pretty much rained almost every day at 2pm. Which was the time my siblings and I could do whatever we wanted. After seeing our Grandma, we went to the hotel to get stuff/use the bathroom and whatnot. It then started raining. Hard.

My bro was in his room in the hotel doing work. My sis has gotten obsessed with cat videos on Tik Tok. Then there was me staring out the window at the rain for 15 minutes.

My bro said he was up for anything as long as it was close and indoors. My sis just wanted to stay in and watch Harry Potter. I kept telling them we should go do mini golf because Florida rain doesn't last long.

We ended up watching a scary movie and then going to the mall. By the time we got there the rain stopped!

There were a few other times where we were in the hotel and I was feeling like, "Why am I wasting time indoors? I should be making awesome memories!" Those thoughts made me feel more and more trapped. I don't have a driver's license, we have no friends in Florida, and I'm scared to talk to strangers. I then went into the not so happy part of my mind.

I recently joined Dumb and Wise, a site Sam from Sam & Colby started. This dude is a little younger than me and is very happy and successful with the stuff he does. He's not like super rich, but he's living an awesome life. I messaged him a few times on instagram and I wasn't surprised not to hear from him. So I was thinking, "What's so great about following him and having this one sided conversation?" I know he's super busy. I'm hoping to learn a lot from him. It's just personally for me I think I'm really missing an in person social life.

I can't remember where I saw this, but on his site he said life is about your relationship with people. That is what makes you happy. I agree, but what happens when you're on your own? Sam gets to work with his friends all the time. And they're doing well. I'm mostly on my own. I'm helping my dad with the tiny home stuff. My bro is helping too sometimes. Right now we're waiting on people to make things happen. For film and the creative stuff I want to do...it's just me.

I messaged Sam on instagram on what I was feeling. I said something like, "Sometimes in life you're on your own." I said more but that's what I basically said. Then a moment later my siblings started joking around and wanted to go out to the mall. In that split second my dark clouds were gone. I felt better.

I looked at my message to Sam. In a way he is right. Though this doesn't count as my work life lol. I sent another message saying, "I don't mean to sound so down. I hope you have a great day." Obviously this dude isn't going to read my messages. In an odd way it felt kind of good to write to someone rather than what I usually do, which is writing to myself.

Also, what you put out in the world comes back to you. Which is why I always try to do the right thing even if no one is looking. And sometimes you think no one is looking at you pick the food out of your teeth, but turns out someone was staring at you the whole time judging you.

On Monday after seeing Grandma we went back to the hotel again. I really needed time to myself to think. It was difficult with my sister watching tv. I went to the pool where there was one dude sunbathing.

I wrote down a list of things that I do that are holding me back from reaching my goals. One big thing I do that holds me back is that I avoid the chance to talk to people. It's not like I hate people. I'm just scared of them. Scared of saying the wrong thing, saying something stupid, scared of making things awkward, and what would they do with the things they know about me? So the good ol' trust issues issue.

Oh, I forgot to say. The day I sent Sam the message that "sometimes you have no choice but to do things on your own," he sent an email to everyone his Pancake Day story. He was working at Ihop on Pancake Day. Which is where they give free pancakes. He was 17 and doing a poor job compared to the other workers. His boss yelled at him in front of everyone that he's falling behind. Sam was already beating himself up at how bad of a job he was doing. But in that moment he yelled back at his boss. Something like, "I'm 17, and I'm doing the best that I can." and then something like, "If what I'm doing isn't enough, then help me."

Bro, when I was 17 I would never yell or say anything like that to my boss (not that I could ever get hired living in NYC). Actually I don't know if I'd do that today. Sam is already so far ahead of me at 17! Anyway, his boss actually thanked him for that. The point of Sam's story is that you are doing the best you can. You don't need to beat yourself up for that.

After reading his story I felt better about myself. I emailed him back a thank you (whether he reads it or not!). I thought about his story for a while. I admired his courage, told myself, "Emel, you are doing the best you can," and I also told myself," Even if you're doing the best you can, you can't slack off." I had to think more about those two conflicting ideas. I really do appreciate the fact I do push myself to go a little further. Though, I also need to appreciate me doing my best. There needs to be some kind of balance. I guess once I start crying alone in the bathroom or behind a stair case is when I need to say, "It's okay. You're doing the best you can." Hmmmmm...

That could work lols. I usually think if you can cry, laugh, be scared, be relived, confused, sure of yourself, feel doom and gloom, aaaand feel hopeful all in one day, "That's a good day." That's you experiencing life. That's living it up.

Throughout my trip to Florida with my siblings I had a range of emotions. We were able to go mini golfing on the last day we were there and do a few other things too. I'd say it ended up being a good trip.

Best,

Emel

Bored Blog 16: Making Some Growth!

8/13/2021

Ohhh It's Friday the 13th.

I should do something spooky...like watch a scary movie lol.

I have been feeling pretty good this past week. Maybe it's because I hung out a lot last week and got out all of that pent up energy. I have been pretty motivated to edit all of the tiny home footage. As of right now, there are 6 parts and they are around 40-42 minutes long. I really hope people will like these (now) episodes of my bro, dad and I building the tiny home.

Last night I had a song stuck in my head. I realized that it's one of the few videos on my Youtube music lists that has for some reason been unlisted. You should listen to it!

The quality sucks, but the song (re-mix) is really good.

I've been looking for re-mixes as good as this from other years, but it's been really tough. Music/re-mixes went down hill after this one.

From the ones I found, people put 20+ songs one after another. They play maybe two at a time for 00:30 seconds and then switch completely to two other songs, and then never playing the first few songs ever again. It's as if people lost the definition of what a re-mix is. It's not a playlist lol. It's putting a few songs together making a new (good) song.

Yes, I've never actually made a re-mix. Although, I have had a few website pages open at the same time, where they each play a different song, and they actually sound not too bad together. I wish I wrote down the names of the songs. It were songs you'd never expect to work well together...It might have been something like a Flogging Molly song with a Linkin Park song...Man.

5 minutes later-

I'm playing around with songs right now. These two songs could be a good possibility if it's done right.

If you make remixes, I challenge you to make this happen lol. I'd love to hear how it turns out.

Not a lot has been going on, though I'm feeling good. Maybe productivity is the key...one of the six keys to having a good life. The other keys (based on what Tony Robbins has figured out) is productivity (growth), the need for certainty, the need for significance, variety, love/connection and contribution.

Actually, maybe what I'm really feeling is certainty. I have a project, I know I have to finish it, it's going to be put up on Youtube once a week, aaaaand my dad and I have been talking more about buying the land in California. I can't explain everything, but our partner seems to be serious in getting the land. So! it's looking like sometime this month things will be moving forward.

On instagram I have been putting up throwback photos of 2017 when we built our first tiny home.

We really came a looooooong way from just making a tiny home, to planning a community (and another special project that I will mention later in the future).

This is why you should document your progress. Some days you'll feel stuck. Some days (or a majority of the time) you won't have anyone to tell you, "You're doing an awesome job. Keep going." Or anyone to point out how much you are growing.

In school we're used to having a teacher always telling us if we're going in the right direction or not. Then we believe when we get a job our bosses will fill that teacher roll. Whether they're a good boss or not, they are directing you to where you're "supposed" to go. As an entrepreneur there is no one to tell you what you're doing is right or wrong. Which is sometimes good and sometimes not helpful.

Through it all I'm still happy I'm doing what I want, (almost) when I want. If I had 7 or 8 figures a month (or more!) I could really do things when I want without waiting for other people. And hire talented, good and reliable people!

Random thought:

I kind of want to switch to vlogs one day once I get my own place...in a year or so. In a year or so. It would be more interesting and it will catch things in the present. Looking at words is half of the story.

Best,

Emel